Want more joy at work?

Trade in your “to do” list for a “to be” list

When was the last time your boss asked you what would make you happier and more fulfilled at work?

Are you laughing out loud right now? I thought so.

The reality is that when it comes to our careers, we are largely rewarded for helping our company achieve its strategic goals and impacting its bottom line. When we do a good job at this, we usually get promoted, make more money and take on a more prestigious title and set of responsibilities. So, it’s not surprising that we spend a good part of our careers chasing these extrinsic rewards that make us feel successful.

And there is nothing wrong with this. Unless of course, it’s all we are chasing.

What I have learned over my 30-year career is that success is a lot like happiness — it comes and goes. We come to realize that we feel only as successful as our latest accomplishment, which means there are many days where we are just grinding away to get our next “hit” of success. And eventually, all of that grinding can make us feel burned out and lead us to question why we’re doing what we’re doing. 

This is why, when I coach executives on how to leverage their personal brands to get more from their careers, I don’t start with what they need to do to be more successful. I help them get connected to who they want to be so they can feel more joy.

I get them to stop focusing on their “to do” list and start focusing on their “to be” list.

What do they really care about and how do they want to show up? What parts of themselves do they want to bring forward in every situation? What kind of impact will bring them meaning at work and how do they work this into their day-to-day role as a leader, colleague and team member?

The answers to these questions often reveal the qualities that make us who we are at our core— that give our work more purpose and that, by the way, also significantly contribute to our success.

Let me give you some examples of what I mean.

If you are drawn to helping others and you set this intention, you will create a more positive experience for those you work with. This will lead to more followership and engagement from key stakeholders, which in turn will make you feel good about the impact you are having and the relationships you are building.

Or perhaps it’s important to you to be a trusted leader to your team — to stay calm and supportive even under pressure. When you add this to your “to be” list and live it every day, your team will feel less stressed and people in your organization will see you as a role model and start seeking you out more for guidance. As a result, you will feel more valued.

Maybe you want “to be” more courageous at work so you start looking for ways to step out of your comfort zone. You ask your boss’ boss to sponsor you or you volunteer to run a big project in another department. This helps you to build new relationships, gather helpful insights and learn some new skills. And you realize that putting yourself out there is not as scary as you thought it would be which makes you feel brave and more confident. 

Working through your “to do” list will always be key to achieving success, but how you work through that list, how you show up — with compassion versus indifference, thoughtfulness versus haste, curiosity versus arrogance — is key to whether you are feeling fulfilled in your career.

As the famous American poet, Maya Angelou once said: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In the end, I think we all just want to feel good.