Trust is the new superpower
Here are three ways to practice it
Last week, when I went to my local fish store, the guy putting our salmon fillets in a bag did not have any gloves on. Pre-COVID, I would have never given this a second thought. Hell, I likely would have not even noticed it. Yet here I was, one of two people allowed in the shop, a mask stretching from my eyes to my chin and my hands sweating in my plastic gloves. And I was asking myself, should I even be buying fish from this guy?
Then I thought about all the great customer service and delicious, fresh fish I had received from this same store over the years and that, maybe, I should just trust the guy.
I think Ernest Hemmingway had it right when he said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” Plain and simple. It seems to me that the act of trusting someone else lets them know that you have faith in them. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At a time when we have little control over anything — whether we will get sick, lose our job, be able to retire or get our hair cut ever again — trust is something we can control. Being more mindful about how we interpret others’ actions and how we show up for one another is a good start. And the good news is, trust is available to all of us.
Be trustworthy
There is an expression I like to live by which came from one of my writing courses — show don’t tell. For me, this means delivering on the commitments I have made to my kids, my family, my friends, and my coworkers. Doing what you say you are going to do is key to building trust with others.
For instance, it’s easy to tell your direct report that you will support her to quit work at four so she can have time with her children. But it’s only when you choose not to schedule meetings with her at that time that you are demonstrating you are trustworthy. Ask yourself, how can you show others you mean what you say?
Show vulnerability
About two weeks into working from home, I received news on a Friday that a father from our neighbourhood had been taken to the hospital by ambulance and put on a ventilator. He had gotten sick very quickly and the prognosis was not good. I worried about him and his family all weekend. So, when I had to lead my team call on Monday morning, I decided to be honest and share my anxiety about what had happened, knowing I would break down while telling the story.
I have found that being real with people has made it easier for them to trust that they can be themselves with me. It has helped us to be more open as a team, giving everyone a chance to talk and share their emotions and fears. As Brené Brown says, “What we know matters but who we are matters more.”
Give people the benefit of the doubt
Last week, I read about a small law firm that was mandating their staff to come back to work despite the fact their province was still in a state of emergency. They were bringing people back at a time when law firms around the world are successfully working 100 per cent virtually. It’s not hard for people to sniff out the trust issue here. And while I fully appreciate that not every employee can work as effectively from home, in my experience, most can.
Showing people that you understand their reality and giving them some options around when and how they get their work done makes them feel respected and valued. This, in turn, leads to happier, and more engaged and productive employees. Trust is a gift that keeps on giving.
Perhaps you’re too worried to buy fish from a guy who doesn’t wear gloves, and this is your right, but there are so many opportunities to practice trust in your everyday life. And in these divisive times, when there are so many reasons not to feel good about the world — trust offers us hope for ourselves and hope for humanity.